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Sullivan, Gold in attempt at footballing suicide. June 15, 2010

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in Argentine soccer, English soccer.
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Subconsciously, I suspect, David Gold and David Sullivan, the two porn barons who own West Ham United, are good people. Mostly, of course, they’re the unscrupulous Scrooges who bah-humbugged Gianfranco “Tiny Tim” Zola out of a job.

But all that is good in them is rising up subconsciously, moving Gold and Sullivan to make a grab for Argentine midfield diva Juan Roman Riquelme. Considering the golden history of Argentine midfield generals at Upton Park, and Riquelme’s electron-sized testicles, I think it’s a deliberate attempt to sabotage themselves. Or perhaps to dump all of West Ham’s players and replace them with the kind of subtle technical players with whom Riquelme can play. Same thing, no?

If, by some crazy chance, it works, expect to see Sullivan’s intestine resort to plan B: climbing up his body cavity and taking his brain by force.

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