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Manchester City cuts off angry, Welsh nose to spite face. August 15, 2010

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in English soccer.

Once, like every English football journalist of the time, I had it in for Craig Bellamy. He played for first Newcastle, then Celtic, two clubs of which I am no fan. He does a lot of whining. He has no neck, which I realize is not his fault, and is actually pretty tragic, but I was younger at the time.

Then, Alan Shearer accused Craig Bellamy of saying mean (and true) things to him via text message. Alan Shearer is an ass. His seven parts burlap sack full of extremely uninteresting rocks, two parts psychotic elbow and nine parts helium-filled ego. See this for proof. If I were his teammate, I like to think I would passive-aggressively compliment him on his thinning hair, Bro Ice him at least twice every training session and come over to his house frequently bearing gifts and unwholesome but tasty food for his children so that they’d like me better. Getting on Alan Shearer’s bad side brings one up in my estimation.

“Hey Al, guess who I am!”

It became apparent that Craig Bellamy, unlike nearly every other noted professional footballer, doesn’t take himself too seriously. Hence his vaunted golf-club celebration. So I became a convert.

Craig Bellamy also, it turned out under Mark Hughes, is an extremely good footballer. And by that I mean he was by far Manchester City’s best footballer last season. His goals and assists brought 14 points to Eastlands last season, without which the Blues would have finished eighth. Before that, I though he was a breath of fresh air in post-match interviews, but overrated on the pitch, but I was converted by that season as well.

Evidently, though, Manchester City’s Authoritarian-in-Chief, Roberto Mancini, wants to exile him to as remote a footballing outpost as possible. I hope they suffer for it.



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