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Jong scores! August 24, 2010

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in Asian soccer, German soccer.

Deviously charming tears

North Korea’s sneakiest bid to conquer the world: 1. do not give a picture of the Bergbaumuseum Bochum, in the German town of Bochum, as close a look as necessary; 2. Mistake it for the world’s largest subterranean drill; 3. Dispatch a crack engineer-cum-spy to steal the blueprints; 4. Build a giant drill that will allow socialism to burrow deep into South Korea.

That spy is, of course, Jong Tae Se, and he has three levels of cover. First, he has found the most unassuming of cover jobs: crack striker for VfL Bochum. Second, he maintains a charming blog that will doubtless convince everyone he’s a sweet guy. Third, he pretends to love Hummers so much nobody will suspect him of being a hardcore commie.

Today, he burnished his cover by blasting two headers past 1860 Munich to lead Bochum to a 3-2 win. Typically, he added extra polish to the cover with an exuberant little blog post, excerpted below in all its pluck:

13分 ボーフム (Minute 13: Bochum)

23分 1860ミュンヘン (Minute 23: 1860 Munich)

38分 テセ! (Minute 38: Tae Se!)

46分 テセ!! (Minute 46: Tae Se!!)

59分 1860ミュンヘン (Minute 59: 1860 Munich)
テセは4-5-1の1トップでスタメンフル出場! (Tae Se played alone up front in a 4-5-1!)

シュート3本での2ゴール!! (He shot three times for two goals!!)

Something must be done, before the blueprints fall into the wrong hands. South Koreans: if you hear any rumbling under the ground, know that it is already too late and also extremely improbable.


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