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Neymar signs for… Oregon State University? May 31, 2013

Posted by michaeltomlinson in Brazilian soccer, MLS, Spanish soccer.
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The Brazilian starlet was all but destined to be Barcelona’s next great South American star. Instead, Neymar has decided to take his talent South beac… Err Corvallis, Oregon! As pictured below the 21-year-old striker has closely monitored the progression of Portland Timbers GREAT Ryan Johnson and has decided to take on 4 years of eligibility, just like former OSU stand-out, Johnson. This of course makes a lot of sense due to a recent independent study which I just made up that says  U.S. soccer players have a 74% chance to be more successful in the pro ranks if they opt for the college route. A couple more interesting statistics, Neymar is now 69% more likely to puke immediately following a beer bong attempt gone wrong, but is also 93% less likely to contract gonorrhea after a transexual orgy… We all have our vices.

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Algerian Hairstyle: That of a douche bag from middle school. June 18, 2010

Posted by michaeltomlinson in African soccer, Hair, World Cup 2010.
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Faouzi Chaouchi looking very natural and blonde

Remember seventh grade? personally I don’t recall much, but I know that those were the years of great hair experimentation. The most fancied option of the time and the often maligned bleached doo nearly always stole the show. So, Algeria not to be outdone by late 90s and early 2000’s suburban white children have gone the way of the bright blonde as well. It isn’t just that its blonde, but its gelled and spiked and an all around poor showing by the North African’s and their stylists. Karim Ziani most notably is sporting the florescent look as is Chaouni who is missing his start in goal due to “injury.” Or it could just be that he is ridiculously god awful. Though his replacement M’Bolhi nearly let in the first ball kicked near him which he misjudged on the fly like a T-ball outfielder. Of course as I say this he makes a decent stop on Lampard. maybe i’ll give him a chance, but the hair, not a chance.