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Transfer deadline extravaganza!!! September 2, 2013

Posted by michaeltomlinson in Dutch soccer, English soccer, European soccer, French soccer, German soccer, Italian soccer, Spanish soccer, Transfer news.
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The unofficial FIFA Transfer deadline day thread, unofficially endorsed by Sepp Blatter’s jowls!

– Mesut Ozil just needs to pass a physical in Munich and he is set for a $42 million dollar move to Arsenal. It is said the he is set to make 6 million a year under the terms of his new contract with the North London club.                                                                                                         —          UPDATE 1: Check out Real Madrid fan’s chanting “Don’t sell Ozil as Perez announces Bale. What is his reaction you ask? To “Shhhhh” them of course. This is a must watch!


 

– Everton head man, Roberto Martinez isn’t ruling out keeping Belgian midfielder Marouane Fellaini amidst multiple reports Manchester United are keen on signing him. If this is true there reports this could free up $15 million necessary for the Toffees to bring Porto man, Fernando to the Merseyside.

– UNIMPRESSIVE MANCHESTER CITY NEWS!
Manchester City’s 20-year-old striker Harry Bunn joins Sheffield United on a month’s loan, according to the Premier League club’s Twitter feed. (external) In addition, 21-year-old midfielder Mohammed Abu joins Denmark’s Aarhus until the end of December.

– Liverpool has seemingly lost out to Atletico Madrid for the services of Ajax defender Toby Alderweireld. The talented 24 year old Belgian centerback spurned offers from many English sides to join Atletico for an undisclosed fee.

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Bleacher Report confusingly proclaims simultaneous decline and rise of Liverpool, City December 29, 2011

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in English soccer, Media.
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According to Bleacher Report, Liverpool and Manchester City will fade in 2012. Also according to Bleacher Report, both teams will surge ahead in 2012. I don’t know how that’s possible, but there it is.

The site has released a list of “7 Teams Who Will Fade in 2012” and a list of “10 Sleeper Soccer Teams That Will Explode in 2012,” and the two English teams are on both. Just to be clear, the distinction is not the “bang vs. whimper” dichotomy, but between teams that will improve and teams that will get worse in the new year.

To be fair to the site, though the headline for the second list reads “Will Explode,” the individual summaries of Liverpool and City only say that the teams have the potential for improvement (City could bounce back from being eliminated from the Champions League, while Liverpool can push on if a few more players return to form). The other list, meanwhile, only makes the case that both clubs will lose their most important player (Luis Suarez for Liverpool, Yaya Toure for City) for a month that also includes dangerous fixtures. It should also be stated that the lists were written by different columnists with different opinions.

Still, though, it’s kind of embarrassing.

 

 

You would have to be an idiot to think Luis Suarez is fat. August 27, 2011

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in English soccer.
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Yeah, a real piggy

Sports Illustrated’s Peter Berlin wrote this in a recent blog post. (emphasis mine)

Kenny Dalglish left his best payer, Luis Suarez, on the field for 20 more minutes. Perhaps Dalglish wanted Suarez to get the goal he deserved and continue his record of scoring in every game this season. Perhaps Dalglish was simply being stubborn, having been asked during the week whether he would rest Suarez. In any case, he allowed us more time to consider the surprising question: Is Suarez fat?

I’ll field this one, Peter. No.

No.

Luis Suarez is not fat. People who are fat do not look like this without their shirts on. For future reference, you can generally tell if someone is fat by checking to see  if there is body fat visible on his figure. Defined abdominal muscles are generally a good indicator that somebody is not fat.

What I mean to say is, you could have looked.

Furthermore, Peter Berlin, considering that you look like this, you may not be entitled to cast the first stone in a debate over people’s weight.

It should not be overlooked either that sending the message that an ultra-fit athlete who happens not to have had a break in a couple of years is overweight probably doesn’t do a heck of a lot of good for people who are also not overweight but insecure about their body images. It’s always kind of sickening when professional footballers (Frank Lampard and Wayne Rooney, for instance) are called fat.

Furthermore, when soccer players actually do manage to become fat, it’s usually for reasons that are actually really sad; for instance, Ronaldo’s thyroid problem.

Note that I did call Michael Johnson “chubby” earlier today. I was wrong. I apologize. I hope Peter Berlin does too.

Cole does poorly, but there’s probably still hope for him. August 16, 2010

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in English soccer, Tactics.
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Joe Cole pretty much flopped against Arsenal Sunday. I have reason to believe he will still come good though. Zonal Marking, the nets’ premier footy tactics site, asks whether Cole’s three-game suspension will be the end for him. “If [Liverpool] reshape [to Hodgson’s preferred 4-4-2] and find success under a different shape,” the site’s author writes, “then Cole’s much-hyped central playmaker role may have lasted only 45 unhappy minutes.”

I’m more skeptical. (more…)

Joe Cole to Liverpool!!~~!!! July 20, 2010

Posted by michaeltomlinson in English soccer, European soccer, Hair.
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In other news; I don’t care at all, really… not one fucking bit

And neither do they..

Kevin Keegan doing uhh something.

TWO KEVIN KEEGANS YEEE!!

UEFA Cup observations March 12, 2010

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in English soccer, European soccer, French soccer, German soccer, Italian soccer, Portuguese soccer, Spanish soccer.
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I don’t care about the UEFA Cup. I care so little about it that I refuse to acknowledge its nonsensical name-change, which I assume UEFA made because this tournament is such a shameful farce that European soccer’s governing body no longer wanted to be associated with it. The most damning evidence is the recent triumphs from the former Soviet Union, largely a consequence of the fact that nobody good actually cares about this competition, meaning the fittest side (i.e. Ukrainian and Russian teams whose season has historically started about this time of year) often wins.

Because I don’t care about it, I didn’t watch it today, aside from about 10 snooze-inducing minutes of Liverpool vs. Lille I squeezed in before my class. That was definitely the biggest mistake of the day. So here’s 10 half-assed observations:

  • Liverpool is really, really bad. Seriously. Stevie Gerrard is closing on 30 and I think Liverpool may have intentionally signed a clutch of woeful players to disguise the fact that he is now past it. It’s not really anyone’s fault except whoever it is that keeps stopping the club from building a new stadium that can generate the kind of revenue the other big English teams’ arenas do. Oh, also the owners. These factors have colluded to inflict a truly wretched team to watch upon the rest of us.
  • French advertising laws: kind of a good thing. Liverpool has always had to wear special shirts stripped of Carlsberg’s logo for trips to France, because alcoholic beverages can’t be advertised there. As a free-speech fan, I am against this. As someone who thinks uniforms look better with fewer logos, I am for this. Nonetheless, someone in Liverpool’s organization is an idiot for not arranging a separate, incremental sponsorship deal for away games in France.
  • Wait, where did David Navarro come from? I thought the Valencia defender had been exiled to the second division for his behavior against Inter a couple of years ago. Shouldn’t he still be serving a lengthy European ban? I guess not, cause guess who started for los Che against Werder Bremen today. You’d have to think either a.) there’s some happy redemption story in there somewhere; or b.) Valencia’s standards have fallen since the days of Roberto Ayala.
  • Standard Liege: dark horse? I didn’t watch the Belgians play Panathinaikos, but I did see them several times in the Champions League this season, and I like them. Certainly, them winning it would be a lot cooler than anyone else doing so. With all the amazing young players coming out of Flanders, that victory might even be the herald of a new dawning in Belgian soccer, if the country can get its act together.
  • My pre-season UEFA Cup prediction’s not looking so hot. Taking a 1-1 draw into an away leg’s not really good news for any side. I predicted Benfica would win it this year, simply because of a front five too good for the Portuguese league. But the gentleman over at Zonal Marking.net said Benfica’s quality in Portugal stems in part from the namby-pamby style of play in Portugal and I guess coming up against a muscular Marseille wasn’t their cup of tea.
  • Atletico Madrid can’t break down 10 men. I guess they’re just a laughingstock, no?
  • Do the Dutch hate Belgians? Two of Hamburg’s scorers against Anderlecht were Dutch.
  • Fulham’s result is a bad thing. Does Juventus really care about the UEFA Cup? Because Fulham does. Just saying.
  • Where did Grafite go? I’m not bothering to check, but he played against Ireland recently. That meant 89-year-old Obefemi Martins in Wolfsburg’s starting lineup.
  • Unirea Urziceni should be here.