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Bleacher Report confusingly proclaims simultaneous decline and rise of Liverpool, City December 29, 2011

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in English soccer, Media.
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According to Bleacher Report, Liverpool and Manchester City will fade in 2012. Also according to Bleacher Report, both teams will surge ahead in 2012. I don’t know how that’s possible, but there it is.

The site has released a list of “7 Teams Who Will Fade in 2012” and a list of “10 Sleeper Soccer Teams That Will Explode in 2012,” and the two English teams are on both. Just to be clear, the distinction is not the “bang vs. whimper” dichotomy, but between teams that will improve and teams that will get worse in the new year.

To be fair to the site, though the headline for the second list reads “Will Explode,” the individual summaries of Liverpool and City only say that the teams have the potential for improvement (City could bounce back from being eliminated from the Champions League, while Liverpool can push on if a few more players return to form). The other list, meanwhile, only makes the case that both clubs will lose their most important player (Luis Suarez for Liverpool, Yaya Toure for City) for a month that also includes dangerous fixtures. It should also be stated that the lists were written by different columnists with different opinions.

Still, though, it’s kind of embarrassing.



You would have to be an idiot to think Luis Suarez is fat. August 27, 2011

Posted by Alex Tomchak Scott in English soccer.
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Yeah, a real piggy

Sports Illustrated’s Peter Berlin wrote this in a recent blog post. (emphasis mine)

Kenny Dalglish left his best payer, Luis Suarez, on the field for 20 more minutes. Perhaps Dalglish wanted Suarez to get the goal he deserved and continue his record of scoring in every game this season. Perhaps Dalglish was simply being stubborn, having been asked during the week whether he would rest Suarez. In any case, he allowed us more time to consider the surprising question: Is Suarez fat?

I’ll field this one, Peter. No.


Luis Suarez is not fat. People who are fat do not look like this without their shirts on. For future reference, you can generally tell if someone is fat by checking to see  if there is body fat visible on his figure. Defined abdominal muscles are generally a good indicator that somebody is not fat.

What I mean to say is, you could have looked.

Furthermore, Peter Berlin, considering that you look like this, you may not be entitled to cast the first stone in a debate over people’s weight.

It should not be overlooked either that sending the message that an ultra-fit athlete who happens not to have had a break in a couple of years is overweight probably doesn’t do a heck of a lot of good for people who are also not overweight but insecure about their body images. It’s always kind of sickening when professional footballers (Frank Lampard and Wayne Rooney, for instance) are called fat.

Furthermore, when soccer players actually do manage to become fat, it’s usually for reasons that are actually really sad; for instance, Ronaldo’s thyroid problem.

Note that I did call Michael Johnson “chubby” earlier today. I was wrong. I apologize. I hope Peter Berlin does too.