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half volley ballon d’or

The Half Volley has decided FIFA and France Football cannot be trusted when it comes to passing out awards. There would be nothing more tragic than the Ballon d’Or’s ending up in Lionel Messi’s grubby hands. Just more ammunition for the killjoys who want awards to go to talented and inspiring performers, rather than see them used as a joke.

We know we don’t have much credibility to start out with, so we’re sweetening the deal by offering footballers not one but seven golden balls, all of which are gigantic. As an added bonus, if the footballer brings them all together, he will conjure a dragon that will grant him three wishes. We’ll profile each nominee in the coming weeks.



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